The Unbroken Circle

The following is part of an article I wrote for a Ridgeview Medical Center newsletter published in 2005. It was one of many experiences that has taught me God truly works in mysterious ways, that we are not the ones in control, and that there is an order larger than we can possibly understand.

One day I was contacted by an RN who was caring for a dying patient who had recently returned home from Mayo Clinic, having been unresponsive for over a week. He had said his goodbyes to friends and families, but seemed to have a hard time letting go. She and the family thought that it would be beneficial to have me play some music to assist him in finding a feeling of peace and support him as he made his final transition.

As I entered his home I noticed his family was gathered around his bedside in his living room. His wife, brothers, sisters, children, grandchildren, and friends were all gathered. When I asked the type of music he liked the best, his family said, "Country, Johnny Cash is his favorite singer". They also explained that he had a strong Christian faith background. After searching my memory for an appropriate Johnny Cash song to play in this setting, I thought of the old Carter family song, “ Will the Circle Be Unbroken”. This is a song that deals with death and the next life.

I pulled up a chair next to the patient’s bedside, adjusted my guitar in my lap, quietly shared my name and that I was going to sing for him. With the family encircling the bed and his wife seated next to him holding his hand, I began to play the guitar and he began to move. At first he raised an eyebrow, then he moved his head slightly toward me. I looked down and noticed his feet move slightly. When I began to sing the song, the corner of his mouth raised into a small smile. Then his eyes opened and he began to look around to his family gathered around. He squeezed his wife's hand. When the second verse came, he began to move his mouth to the words and sing. After the second verse and refrain, he began to close his eyes again and lay back into his pillow. I sensed a change and repeated the first verse and refrain. We all observed him take his final peaceful breath as I played the last chord. Although this was a sad time, it was truly a surprise and miracle to all of us!

After paging the nurse to return, the family asked to sing "Amazing Grace" and a few other hymns. It was a privilege to be part of this special event and it was so affirming of how music and spirituality are so integrally connected, and such an integral part of life.

The family requested that I play "Will the Circle Be Unbroken" at the funeral. Afterward, they gave me a small plaque in appreciation of my performance. I'm not sure why, but I placed the plague in the visor of my van that day and forgot about it.

A year later, I had my own personal health crisis. After many tests in Minneapolis, my doctors decided that I needed to have inpatient testing and evaluation done at Mayo Clinic. I was quite worried about the process and possible outcome. I was afraid that I myself might die or end up with a serious disability. I arrived early in the morning and I parked in the monstrous parking ramp. I was anxiously searching for something before going in to be admitted. As I pulled down the visor, the plaque fell onto the passenger seat. At that moment I felt a sense of peace and assurance that I really needed. It was as if God had just put a comforting hand on my shoulder. I stopped and re-read that plaque right there:

I said a prayer for you today

And know God must have heard.

I felt the answer in my heart

Although he spoke no word

I asked for happiness for you

In all things great and small,

But it was for his loving care

I prayed the most of all.

I looked up and at that very moment the sun was rising.

I somehow knew in that moment that everything was going to be all right.

That plaque helped to give me strength and reminded me that I was not alone during my time there. I found it to be very reassuring to have it with me during this difficult time in my life. This experience serves as a reminder to me that the care we give in hospice means something far more than we can understand and that sometimes in life our own caring and compassion for others can be returned in unexpected ways. That is one circle will never be broken.

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Lyrics to Will The Circle be Unbroken that I used that day:

There are love ones in their glory, whose dear forms you often miss.

When you close your earthly story, will you join them in their bliss.

Will the circle be unbroken, by and by, Lord by and by

In a better home awaiting, in the sky, Lord, in the sky.

In the glorious days of childhood, oft they told of wondrous love.

Pointed to the dying Saviour, now they dwell with him above.

Will the circle be unbroken, by and by, Lord by and by

In a better home awaiting, in the sky, Lord, in the sky.

You can picture happy gatherings by the fireside long ago,

And you think of tearful partings, when they left you here below.

Will the circle be unbroken, by and by, Lord by and by

In a better home awaiting, in the sky, Lord, in the sky.