First Steps

It's hard to know where to begin....
I had always loved music, but was not sure what to do with it. When I was in my early 20's I went to school for music and stopped after two years because I really didn't really feel teaching music was the right thing for me. I spent time doing gigs at night and working in home health for children, and in group homes for the developmentally delayed. In that work I was always amazed be the way my clients would respond to music. I still was not really aware of music therapy. A few years later I started nursing school. Then a child, a very brave, very wise child, came into my life. When I met Luke, he was 4 years old. He had pretty severe cerebral palsy and a smile that could melt your heart. The cerebral palsy caused difficulty in controlling his muscles and would cause painful muscle spasms. I had a hard time understanding his happiness despite his struggles and difficulties. He had never really known another way of life and he was determined he would succeed. Luke taught me so much about life, courage, suffering, healing, and kindness.

Luke's cerebral palsy made walking extremely difficult. A physical therapist would come to the house to work with him in learning to use a walker. Luke tried very hard to walk, but it was very difficult. Then one day when he was 5 he said to me, "I can't do it" with tears in his eyes. He had never seemed to give up on anything until that moment.

The next day I had an idea. I brought a drum the next day the physical therapist came. I said, "Luke, don't worry about walking. Do you think you could march?" He had a puzzled look for a minute, then smiled and said "yes". The physical therapist got Luke standing with the walker. I began to play a march rhythm. Luke began to get a smile on his face. I watched as the muscles in his legs began moving in time with the music and he swayed with the beat. Then a moment that would change both our lives happened. He took a first step- then another. He picked his knees up and he marched---- for 30 feet! These were his first independent steps without someone holding on to his hands and arms. I knew instantly that everything I had thought was important as a musician was not- no performance for even thousands of people could ever compare to this moment. Music could do so much more than I ever imagined.

I began to do more music with Luke- singing, drumming, moving to music, and it had a profound effect. Through the process Luke was teaching me. In seeing the effect the music had on their child, his parents decided to research music therapy. They found a music therapist for him. I went with to Luke's second session and observed. Watching the therapist work and the way she used music to meet this child's needs, I realized that I had just found what I was meant to do.

The next day I met with an advisor at my nursing school. Out of the blue she asked me, "Have you ever thought about going into music therapy?" I realized at that moment the universe was not being subtle. God was calling and made it very clear to me what it was I needed to do. Within a month I had dropped nursing school, and began coursework at Augsburg College in music therapy. Just as Luke had taken his first steps, so had I.

I had know idea where this journey would take me.